All about me

Yes as from now is all going to be about me and my journey to self healing me. Yes I been on the phone most of the day talking to my councillor, I did something so stupid and I have lost someone that means a lot to me, like we were sisters. I was in a dark place if I don't self heal me I will never be a good person and I scare myself after I dropping Connor off. This not going to be a easy journey but I need to heal not just the soul but also my body and mind. I need to realise I can be love for who I am not just because what I am. I need to love me first and I don't. I hate myself for all the things that have gone wrong in my life and I hate me for all the hurt I cause. I need to forgive myself because it wasn't my fault but at the moment I can't. I so much wanted to say this to someone but no I need to give them space and I need to heal me for all the hurt in my life. I going to have my ups and downs but I will get better. Cheers Deb

Top Tracks for Leona Lewis (playlist)

The last few days I have been going over the year and what been happening. My brother had cancer then was better and my mum look like she wouldn't live beyond this year. Me not coping with my mum and wishing for help and understanding. Then My sister in law has two lung transplants and is still not out of trouble lucky to get out of bed. my big brother has a heart attack and then finds out the cancer is back, off for test. My mum is not getting any better, so what do we do, put her in a home where she not happy. My brother test come back, the cancer has spread to his from his neck down to hips on the left side. told by the doctors take you time for treatment no rush. So he now on his way down and enjoying his life to the fullest. Me so stress living here and the way I have been treated. Lisa moves in and trying to build her a room at the back and still not finished but no one cares. It nice to have Connor here. Me lost my bf and still lost them. Idiot had his fifty and no one went and came home and abuse us all, so Im glad taking Stacey away from this, when we go to Melbourne so her and I can have a peaceful holiday than worry about what's next. He was really nasty to the kids and then calling me see you next Tuesday a few times but I had no one to talk because I have no bf any more. My stress level is going over time and few panic attacks and blacks out. My big brother will be here soon, spoke to both of my boss that Im taking off to see him and cry a bit with one and then we had a laugh about some other stuff. My k school boss has been great support when I told her last week. So what a year and its not over yet. No wonder I don't want to leave my bed any more. Hey look on the bright side Jess is getting married on Nov 3rd and Connor turns 1 in Nov and Stacey is 17. So for now Im looking forward to Melbourne with Stacey and enjoying my time with her and then lets see what happens after Nov with my life. Oh I love this song and its for MY family. Cheers Deb

Bruno Mars Talking to the moon lyrics

Count On Me - Bruno Mars Lyrics

Bill Withers - Lean on me