down and out

Yep I feeling really sick at the moment, toilet bowl and I made friends all night, but this morning just the head and stomach muscle are sore. My heart is hurting a lot to this morning. Well tomorrow off to see my old primary school we have a reunion and its their 40th birthday I went to the very first day it was open and had to leave all my friends at my other school but I knew this was a new journey for me. I made a lot of new friends there, one was Lesley she moved in across the road from me so we end going to school together, u could say we were join at the hip. Teresa was another one she was my bridesmaid at my wedding and I get to see her again after 15 years. Let hope we can talk like we use to but I cant see that happening. Marian is going to be there to when she can and Lesley is hoping to get there before it finished but might not. We all intend to just walk around the old neighbourhood and just remember when it was so much easier. I'm taking Stacey with me to show her my school life and her to meet all my old school mates and maybe meet my teachers, where they can spin a line about me in school lol. I hopefully we can look at pic of us when we were just young kids with no care in the world and no problem to deal with. Yeah we had a fights and yes I was the one that didn't forget it and Brood about the fight and would just let it go of my anger and punch things because I was mad at them.  tell ya what I miss those days when it was much easier or really was it. Cant wait to walk the corridor again up those step to room 7 and where I spent most of my life and then on the monkey bars where we all just hanged out, yes we just hang there. Going back and having a look at the areas where i played sports and where I just enjoyed being kid. But they say you cant go back and not everything can be the same. That's a real shame but that life of growing up........ Nothing can ever be the same but let hope it can get better, than it was......

Have I made the right decision

I'm starting to wonder if I have made the right decision about sending Jake to Melbourne on his own in a month. He going to stay with a women i really don't know and her family. He is supposed to be work experience with her, he will be working with snakes, crocodiles and other. He happy but I'm going not be happy until he back home with us and she has promise me he will come home.  Gee I need a drink or two this weekend but no one to have one with me. Lisa is still going but need to find someone to take over the lease of her house. I'm supposed to going out this weekend well, I haven't said yes or no at the moment I don't want to go, well while I was writing this I got my mess from my old school buddy, saying she cant go, oh well. Happy Birthday to me then hey. Thats it Im not having anymore friends, they are just a waste of time, im sick of being the one thats at fault and they wont talk to ya . I still haven't look at my uni result and I don't want to but I need to soon but I might wait until I'm with my bestie with me to see it. I really scared to see if i pass it and I really worry because I don't want to repeat these unit again, it just making so hard to keep up, fingers cross..
Well that's it from me

Cheers Deb

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the start of my exams and I really not ready and very scared about, I have never and i mean never sat for exams in my life. Not in high school i left before they started and the test I Had was just the normal ones in high school, they didnt really matter these do if i dont pass these then i have to complete these units again, I really dont want to do that because it makes me more behind and then soon or later I would have to do more than two unit, which i know I wouldnt cope with that.

Well I have some wonderful pics of my beautiful granddaughter Giselle driving my new car.

Isnt she very cute driving here, got love her to bits. Well back to studying maths for tomorrow. Something big happening tomorrow not just my first exam but something else but that for me to know and that how it going to stay.

Cheers Deb

Pain and see her hurt

Today i took Stacey to the doc for weekly freezing off her warts. She was in so much pain and tears just flow, my heart was breaking just watch her cry. She wants them gone and that why we are doing this. we are hoping there is only one more time to go with just one big one left. The doc said it was his pleasure but I think he meant it OK for him to do this. Stacey just look at him. I just find out my exams are on the 7th June and then the big one on the 8th June what week it going to be. Now I just starting to be a bit nerves, I have never done exams before so this new to me, lets hop i do well.


Cheers Deb

one more to go

My last assignment is due Friday but I have ask for a extension because i know I wont have it finished, but i have a feeling i wont get it. i really hope so because this not a really easy one and with everything going on around me, it wont be finished but I will give it a try, I think making it make sense is the problem. It would so much easier if i could tell them in person and not have to write it. Then I have exams in two weeks with one and I haven't check on the other but I need to, so trying to finish my assignment then studying for exams bloody hell. We are looking for a new car and its not easy to get one and trust it going to be a good one, i have ask for a independent mechanic to have a look at one we like. Well i have to go and take Stacey to the docs then back to this assignment.

Cheers Deb

Happy Easter everyone

Yep happy Easter to all and I hope everyone had a great day. My day was studying and studying, I'm two weeks behind in my maths unit so here i am trying to catch but bloody averages are very boring so I'm gone through half the of that week work. Well at least school has a week holiday and so am i but here I am trying to catch up. I wish some can explain these average things better for me to understand, I do understand some of it and when Heard the hour long lectures It made a little more sense. Well off soon to get some tea, in my family every good Friday we go out and have barn bills for tea. Stacey and I are off to the footy tomorrow for mum and daughter which we havent had for so long, well got to get back to it, studying some more so I can sit back and enjoy a bit of tv

Cheers Deb

to long

Its been to long for me not to be on my blog, just been way to busy with school, work and family stuff. First school gee I have had my ups and down with this lately, I have so many times call it quits and so many times I still here trying my hardest. First assignment due on Monday and nearly finished it well I hope to have it complete before sleep to nite, then start the other one. I need to read through and make sure I have all the grammar correct and it makes sense. I have been put out of my comfort zone with these unit and its starting to show with me not dealing with everything. Well work is work, some days I love my work then other days I think go home and have time off, but no I'm still here because that's is who i am. I wouldn't let the kids down and me but sometimes i wish I could be full time, its a security thing but will never happen. Family not much I want to say here so I wont. Well back to the assignment so I can go to my friend card making party she is having on Sunday. I hope i can go but if I cant there will be next time...

Cheers Deb

High school reunion

Over last few days I had emails back and forward from guys i went to high school with. We are having a reunion next month. i cant believe there is a site on facebook on our school where everyone is. So far we know there at least 6 from my years and there a lot from after me going. I even caught up with a girl that lived across the road and we went to primary school then high school together but after the first year we didn't hang out together.... I was to much of a rebel, I had Stacey laughing alot today with the comment of how the perfect guys were here and the rebels were here and guess which one I was.... The perfect lot had perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect students, the perfect boyfriends, sorry I mean older boyfriends. Yeah I did have a older boyfriend at high school and that didn't go down well with the perfect people. I have being chatting with one she still look so perfect......

Well off that subject here some cards I made at Sharon's card making class couple of weeks ago. I love these classes it really fun and interesting, Sharon and I are going to a all day one next weekend, I think they make cards and other things. i enjoyed doing this stuff with Sharon, it give us some other stuff together and time just to hang out with each other.... Well that's it from me I have a very sore head and i need to rest it before work tomorrow....

Cheers Deb

yay me

I have finally enrolled in my uni course and I was just looking around. The Internet finally stay on so I could do it but its done and now I'm a little happy about it.
Well that's it for me I have a daughter with very sore hands to give some of my love to.....
Cheers Deb

what i want for christmas

I trying to decide what to do, i know I should get my butt into gear and pick my uni subjects. I really don't know what I want. I keep trying to go the uni site to do it and then i just give and leave it again. I think I need a kick up the bum to get on with it and just do it. Christmas is coming and it coming way to fast for me. Cant wait to see Giselle first christmas and just watch her and it will bring back memories form my own children first christmas. Off to the magic cave to see santa going with my friend sharon and her family and then later in the week I'm taking Giselle to see all the magic of christmas, this will help with my christmas blues. Well thats it for now maybe in the next couple of days I will have some news of finally going and setting my subjects up for next year..

Cheers Deb

In doubt

Yes I'm doubting myself and I know what someone is saying. It really not making any different, shit it bugging me at the moment to be this way. I hate this feeling and i really don't know how to get out of it. 9 working days to go ya and i really mean ya bring on the holiday. YOU know if I feel this way maybe I wont make a very good teacher. Or do I want to, well my sso wont have this feeling that for sure they have all my support and students wouldn't get away with what I'm going though. Just finished playing cricket tonight and we batter and i did get in, which was fun i 'always love to bat it get all the stress out while I'm out there. The you come off the field did i get enough out nah i didn't. So far this season i have hit 75 runs and that's in three games and we have won three games to, with us we have to retire after 30 runs so that a bit pissy but hey that's the rules. Two games i have finished not out with what i love because my batting is important to me.... So tomorrow back at work and once again getting shit throw at me again but I keep to me and just let steam after school......
Well thatsa for me now.....

Cheers Deb

well i did

Yes I had a few drink and I did have a look, yes i pass my unit in uni ya me. I still haven't plan for next year but I think I will, well at the moment i will but let see tomorrow and now my good friend will have to pay up....... and i will keep her to it.....
Cheers Deb

still havent

The result are out and I still haven't had a chance to have a look, well to be honest i really scare to look after i have already fail this one before. They only just been posted yesterday but I still cant come and look and I even haven't plan my next subjects. My close friend said she will go and watch the new moon again with me if i check to see if i pass, but I still find it hard to do that. No-one really understand why i like this or they just doesn't wanted to. I will do it when I'm ready to do it. I don't know if i have any hours next year at work, if I don't I cant continuing my studies anyway but I would have to look at volunteer to keep going, i don't know maybe i just lost interest in everything. Well I off to have a few drinks and then maybe I will have the gusts to see my result.

Cheers Deb

Did I pass or not

Well all my result in from my assignments and now I have to wait to see if I pass over all. I did add up and try to work it out if I did or not, but I'm going to wait and see from them. Then maybe I can plan for next year, whether I go on or just try be a very good sso and just realize that I'm not up to study and put my self out of my misery. Just got a email about my cricket game tomorrow night, we still play as long it not 40 lol
Cheers Deb

ok I'm back

Yes I couldn't stay away from here, Well the good news is Stacey and her best friend are still tight. It was funny Stacey was talking on the way home last night about her and em and they are glad they still best friends and they are not fighting anymore. They both said yeah we are just like sisters we fight. I'm glad for her it was tuff to see her hurt and not close her heart. Well back to work next week, last term for the year and only 9 weeks and we are back on holidays again. On Saturday I'm babysitting my granddaughter which I looking forward to it, Jess is bringing her over at 8.30 in the morning and leaving her with me until 12.30 the next day wow I cant believe it. More pics to take of her and i will put them on here. Next week is the last week of uni for me and then i have alot of thinking what I want to do next year, do i keep going or stop. i have alot on my mind at the moment but I need to get it all right, or it could be all over for me. Well that it for now.........

Cheers Deb

I'm back

I'm back, yes I'm here. Someone fell asleep on the way to work last week and hit my stole pole, so all week I haven't had Internet, no foxtel and no home phone. It was shit watching normal t.v, so I end up watching lots of DVDs and visiting my mate Sharon. My school works is starting to suffer at the moment i just cant get into and get motivated. I have a assignment due on the 27 Aug and did some of it my my mate class today but shit I'm just not interest in it and I'm trying hard to get motivated but it not happening. I'm so bored with it but I don't want to stop, i really need someone to just come up to me and say snap out of it or give me a good swift kick up the ass. I'm working my ass off at the moment, running a school is no fun but I do love the hours and the money, well I will find out tomorrow. I do miss working in class and do i say it with the student i work with. That's it for me now. Melbourne in 7 weeks and two days come hurry up...
Cheers Deb

melbourne

Melbourne yes the plane ticket are bought the hotel is book. Nine weeks to go and we are to Melbourne. I'm going to Melbourne with my good Friend Sharon for a couple of days, we are leaving bloody early in the morning and coming back late but really I don't care, I cant wait, come on next school holidays hurry up. I'm finding it really hard to study and I need to keep reminding me about the big picture, it could be because I only doing one unit and I have plenty Of time to study. Really back to melbourne I went on web site on melbourne it self this morning just looking up things and seeing where we can shop and shop. Did I say nine weeks to go yahoo and again yahoo.

Cheers Deb

first week

First week back at work, it been a very busy one as I'm the one running the office. Yep out of the classroom and in the office for at least eight weeks, I don't mind because I get more hours which I like. Don't get lunch or recess but I'm getting on well with the boss which is great. Planning a holiday for next school holiday with my mate Sharon, we are having a girls holiday in Melbourne. Which we both plan to go shopping and shopping and see more of the more of melbourne.I'm really looking forward to it. Well start doing my uni stuff and all it reading but at least I'm still there. The lump on head is a infection and now getting the treatment I needed and having blood test to see whats going on in my body, after talking to the doc he said it would be best for my health and safety. O by the way it a girls holiday, no kids and no hubby.



Cheers Deb

Footy

I went to watch my footy team I love to watch and sometime they frustrated so much like today, here's a photo of the player i call Cohen the barbarian, he such a go getter player I love when he gets the and just runs and the way he gets in there, but sometime he frustrate ya when just hangs a little to long with ball. Stacey has her favourite as well she thinks he soo cute well i don't know, but he a photo of him to. Well we did win today but it was hard task and we did lose two players to injury, just hope they are to bad. Well I have change some of my uni units and I'm only going to do the one the one I fail I have to repeat but hey that's ok and lets hope i don't this time. Still having these bloody headaches and the lump on my head is not getting better either, i really hope it not much but a infection on my head and it can be fix with just some antibiotic, this is really hard to keep how you feel from your family but I am. i don't want hem to worry but it really hard to read and do other things, just writing on the computer is hard that why I don't go on much at the moment. See the doc on Monday and just see what he thinks and swimming tomorrow which don't think i should go but no choice I have to finish this bloody swimming course. Well thats it for now head hurting to much.

Cheers Deb

uni started

yeah that's right uni started yesterday, yeah did look and have down load alot of the paper work. I still don't if I want this, haven't be able to talk to someone about this yet. In my heart i want this so much but in my head saying you just cant do this. To top this off i put my car in for it check up and told it needs this and this and 1200 dollars later I have my car back. Gee there goes all my saving for anew laptop and Melbourne and show, so here I go started all over again, first the show because Stacey really wants to go and so do I, then Melbourne and then laptop. thanks my angel you could have help, hey sorry the psychic did say I should buy a new car not now it all fixes. So much stress lately just hope it come to a end, I'm hoping these headaches will go away, go to bed with them and wake up with them. It could be because of this lump on my head to.

Cheers Deb