I'm scared

I'm so bloody scared, what if it's bad and things are not right. What's going happen maybe I should end it now. Not put my family through it. I like I said I'm Scared. Who is here to help or hold my hand through this. I'm trying not let anyone see but it's getting harder to not show something is wrong. My head has got to the way it was when I wasn't coping. That's scares me too, no one understands it at all. I will lose the peopIe care about again , that frightens me. Can I cope with it this time. Am I getting told its going to happen again are there sign. Am I reading the sign right or am Not tbinging straight and its all in my mind. I really don't know, drinking again which I haven't done for a while. Keeping to myself again, I was doing really well, well thought I was. The sleepless night again the dreams again. All I want is it all to stop. Goodbye. Cheers Deb.