Stacey

On Thursday I went to work and the I get a message from stacey. Hey much come now I'm on soon, went to my friend and the one I work with, I'm out of here. Tell stacey good luck from me, give her hugs to. So off I went as you can read, stacey is about to complete year 12. That day it was her saca exam for music and she sing. Wow she was amazing, there is one song she sing and it's all about her. It's called warrior, she has so much emotion in this song because of what she been through. I spoke to the teacher after and he said don't worry she has pass. Stacey has been worry about not passing year 12 because of of the emotion roller coaster she been on, over the last year. With my mum passing away and the police case all the pressure of year 12. Her last art piece was about her and others that struggle with depression. The final was her hold on to a shield with her boyfriend in one corner, me in another corner, her nanna in another corner and of course her music. With all these demons around her, it was a very powerful piece to see and understand what she going through. IM SO PROUD OF HER. At her birthday party she has all the friends and family and my work mates that have supported her this year. LOVE Ya BABY BEAR.

Past and future of my life.

Even though my life has become so much better over the year, you can never really so goodbye to a very good friendship that I had. Yeas I have made new friends and some have become close friendship. You will always be a part me and you bought me out to I am now. Even with hurt that came after, they say people come in your life to teach you something, you taught me to believe things can change. I'm glad we both have new friendships that are healthy for us, I'm glad you life is what you want now. Have never had a bad word to say about you and never will. We did have our fun times and our bad times but I do remember the fun ones more. I love the I am now, yeah I have my days but I don't have to talk about it, this how friends are. Maybe just maybe one day we can just say hi to each other, but I can see that's not going happen. I don't hate or anger over how you feel. I'm happy inside now and love me again, which hasn't happen since I was a kid. I have let a lot of things go, I had to forgive me and everyone who was a part my life for all the hurt and pain I have suffer in my childhood, teenagers years and adulthood years. Now I have found a new way to life and how I really want to enjoy it. It has taken a lot of support from my children but they see that I'm happy and love who I am now. Stacey has been the most of the support she has seen the worse side of me and be there thick and thin. Now I'm here for her, she has so much going on in her life, she gas struggle this year, with her own friendship gone but she said that friendship was gone long time ago. Which is sad but she has said she has that caring factor, which is good I have always taught her never hate someone. Well school nearly over for her and it has been very hard for her, with all the stuff going on, with police and statement that had taken a year. To see her and her sister come out every time crying. Well now we are waiting for when we have to go to court and give evidence. Let my girls gave their time in court and face it and tell it their feelings. Maybe they can close that chapter of their life finally. The memories will still be there, it never leaves you but you can have control of your life back. So please stop hating me and stacey, we are happy for you that you found what you really need now. Will try to go and get ready to go out with me mates, time to get on with my life. Catch all on the other side of life.

Me

Well nice have great news for a change,one of my friends from work and I have been going to the gym together. It's great to have someone who wants workout hard and have fun as well. In a few weeks we are getting personal trainer as well. We push each other to do our best, I'm really enjoying it and having fun. Can't wait for the weekend, my friends from work and I heading to town again for some fun and lots of dancing. My life is getting better everyday. Mum you were right, things will get better, yes you were right on saying moving away from the problem, you see things so different. I'm lucky to meet people who really like me and my company. We'll not long to stacey 18th, what a big night that's going to be. Then she is coming out with my mates from school too.

Holidays over

Back to work this week, holidays had there ups and downs but it was good. Yeah my team didn't win the grande final but that's ok. The after party was awesome. I have come a long way since last year, I have found new friendships and healthily ones too, no one dominate me anymore. As Rachael said it was healthily for me. We were talking today how far I have come, I said yes with your help, she said I guide you only. You are one person that you know what you need and you do it. You have made new friends and you said you wouldn't let anyone in but you did. You are out there enjoying your life and six months ago you didn't think you could. You making plans with friends to do things not just sit at home. Your not needing anyone or being dominate by any one. You are happy and your health is better, you are looking great and you can see it. You know when need time for you and you are taking it, not like before. So I don't see her every two weeks it's every month.

What a weekend

First up Friday I headed out with couple friends from school. What fun night that was. Sat night we all headed out to dinner we had Indian. Yum is all I can say, the place was called Bollywood. Then we went across the road for more drinks. Then we went to the Karako bar. After all that it end up with three off us and we head to woolshed. Dancing and drinking and having so much fun. My friends and I have so much fun out together, just enjoying each other friendship, is all we want. Sunday rooster won and now we are in the grand final. Oh yeah, next Sunday woohoo can't wait. Then my friends are coming back to the club with me to have a few drinks and fun. I'm enjoying my life so much more now, you can't take life for grant and now I can have fun, with my kids saying go for it. I'm just so happy now, I been like this for years and now I really understand what true friendship means.