My friend

I'm wondering how they are. Alison asked if you two were still friend what would have done. Be at their side in a flash no question and no need for words. I hope they know I am here anytime they just need someone to talk to. Since I'm not close to anyone. Well won netball again tonight. I have a pretty good team. 2 more days and it Jess wedding. Well rehearsal went well and I had a tear in my eyes. So I'm going to take tissues with me on the day. Where I stand I'm going to get some great photos of the girls walking down the path and Jess with her dad too.

Goodbye

Goodbye to a lady I had a lot time respect for. You will be miss and I will always remember the gifts you gave over years. I love all my angels and you just did it with out thinking. So this is goodbye lovely lady. I will miss you but I still have my angels to look at and remember you.

Out of respect

Out of respect to you and your family, I will be thinking of you and your family tomorrow. I would love to go and say my good byes but this isn't about me, it about you and your family. So I will say good bye from a distance and respect you and your family. You are always in my thought and heart.Alison was very proud of me today and she said that i was getting there. When i said about tomorrow and how I was feeling and I said it wasn't about me, it about them. It be a tough week and for our family and especially for Stacey. On sat it going to be a happy day for Jess and it going to be a very long day. I cant wait to see everyone in their suits and dressers together. Well tomorrow is the dress rehearsed at the place where she is getting Married. We have been told we need to keep a eye on Stacey and just watch her closely which what we are doing. She had her first session yesterday and worker is going to see her every week until she get in the place. I have be there where she is now. Well next week will be tough on us all, especially Stacey and Jess but as a family we will stick together and come through this. Well that's it for now I have a daughter to help.

My friend

Today I heard some terrible news my closest friend lost her mum. I had a lot of time for this wonderful woman. It was a shock to know this happen but i wish I could have been there for them but I understand why. All I want to say to you I am sorry about your Mum. I would like to pay my respect to you and your family. I wish I could talk to you, or even email. You are in our thoughts from Stacey and I.

I couldn't believe it.

If what I know is true I'm so sorry and I know a been a selfish bitch. It was all about me, when I should have of your feelings but I didn't know. I'm so sorry for that. I hope you will talk to me one day and tell me. Stacey and I are very sorry to hear. I want to more but I can't because its so personal and it's for you only, when I can I will tell you and hug you.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is Jess birthday she will be 26 years old, then in 5 days she going to be married woman. My god this going but hell a moth and rest of the year. Well I have my new red bag to go with my red shoe and my colourful dress, well some of the dress is colourful some is black. Well catch you later.

Why

Today It has been a very strange day, with strange things happening. All I can think of you made me cared and now you walk away and left me here alone. I kept telling you not to but you said it won't hurt me too. It was destine for us to be bf and you always said I was your sister. Everyone keeps telling me you will get over and must let go but hey they don't really know me very well.I just wish I didn't cared and stay away but no I thought they promise not hurt me so it be all right. Now your gone and I don't know where or why. I don't know what your going through but I suspect what you must be going through. I just don't know why you had to let go our friendship and leave me behind. I hate these days because you might have your new friends and old one helping you through this but I'm not I have no one. I wish you can tell me why, I have tried to open the door but you keep closing on me but not doing your self you getting other people doing it for you. Which is not right at all but hey that's the way it is. Where have you gone and why cant I know. I'm not letting my pride get in the way anymore because I know whats is important to me. This what I have been told by a friend of my, she telling things will be ok. So she sent me this.

Its not me giving up, well I had until she and I had talk then she said don't give up. Just wait in the wings and wait. I don't do wait very easy but I care is the problem. I just wish you tell me not someone else to tell me. Oh well one day you will tell me you have gone and maybe contract me again.

up to the yorke

Today we went to the yorke to see my mum,we took her out for the day. went back to her home and out to lunch. While we at home I went through all these photos because I have a image of me in my head, I was about 6 or 7 and its important I find it. I was sitting on my dad's boa and he had his big foot next to me. That was the last happy thought. I found these instead when I get the scanning working I put the real ones on but for now this what I got.

Well this a lot of me growing up and my family and my dad and mum and my nanna.

My turn

stacey

now Stacey with flowers,

Jake photos

The new camera, Jake decide to taken photos last night, so here they are.

My Saying

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.: (F)ight for you. (R)espect you. (I)nvolve you. (E)ncourage you. (N)eed you. (D)eserve you and (S)tand by you. — Anonymous

Stacey

Stacey came home quite upset today, wondering what she has done wrong. Mum why didn't they want to talk to me and why they didn't want to be in class with me. I have never see her so upset and it has got me very worried, she said I got so down I just cutting things and didn't want to do anything. The rang bells started to ring in my head but i cant help her with anything. I just want to talk to some one but I cant. So she will hurt inside and out, all I know she doesn't want to go to school anymore. I lost my bf to someone else mum. We are a great pair we both have lost our bf. I just want them to know I was here and worried about them but they didn't want to know at all. I'm glad Alison is helping me. I'm so positive now and I can reach and cope with anything now. Now just need to get Stacey the same way. Today I got my shoes and nice lovely red high heel shoes, next is the handbag which I have pick out and at the weekend I will buy it. Saturday heading to my mum house and to see her and talk about some stuff. She be at the wedding which great, Jess will have her family there. She has the wedding part in a garden then the reception some where else. Getting my nails done during the week and yes I'm becoming a girly girly, no way, just for Jess. Well got my camera today, can't wait to take some shots up at the yorke. Well that's it for now.

not long

Yep not long to go. Tonight we went got all the drinks and looking for jewelry and I found some nice red shoes and bag to go with it and now I have to find some jewelry. Well I had a meeting again, but this one was ok, didn't bother me. All I want to do was just let a old mate know I'm here anytime they want to chat,or anything. Well Stacey has her meeting on Monday with head-space. we won again tonight 53 to 18. I'm lucky have a pretty good team. Well I'm really tired and I have be struggling to get up. well that's it for now.

Tonight

Tonight I went to see Jess to see her in her wedding dress , wow she is beautiful in it. Stacey tried her bridesmaid dress she is beautiful too. I felt a little left out, I want to give her away just as much as her dad but no. I will go with that because she my daughter and I love her. All his family a play in her wedding I don't, I'm the only one in my family that doesn't. So i'm little piss off, hey this my daughter Im the one that should be here for her and on the wedding day it should be our family there but nope his family are with her. Am I jealous yes because I feel left out.

Mate

A very old mate of mine must hurting and maybe the whole family is. I wish I could just talk to make sure they are ok. I know I can't because we don't talk anymore but that doesnt mean I don't care because I do. If I could, I would be there in a flash just for them to lend on. Or just vent. Talk to them positive and give them courage what ever They are going through. Just want them to know I'm here if they ever decide they need me to be there for them.

Jess

Tomorrow night I get to see Jess in her wedding dress and my other girls in their bridesmaid dress. I'm really looking for to that. sorry you have to wait another 11 days to see, more likely 12. I don't think I be on here for her wedding but I will show My good mates, the pics that day on another media. :)

Cricket

It was nice to be back playing cricket again, We won but shit am I sore. Well it mum and daughter playing this season.

This what I am . I cant change this side of me. I will always stand up for others and be there for them, if they ever need me. This who I am, this how I was bought up. Thanks mum and Dad you did do a great bringing me up this way. I have been told to try but its so dam hard too.

mum and dad

I will never forget you dad and mum I see you soon and then you will see your first granddaughter get married in 13 days.

There is a time.

there is a time in my life for no more sorry, I don't need to anymore. :)

Life

My life might not be perfect but I'm so happy with it. I was told forgive people the way they think about you, which I have I but they can't. Let go all the negative people in my life which I have and I feel so much better for it. I can see I had to many negative people in my life that didn't help the way I was because of their negative spread to me. Allison help with that and now I'm trying to get Stacey to feel positive about her life. The way I see life is so different than before. I don't let things get to me any more I can move on. Which I have done its so much easier to not let things get to. Not long for Jess and Chris. Love the idea mother of the bride. Just wish I could get some else just excite as I am but hey I think you wouldn't rub this smile off my face any way. Looking forward to the girls fitting on Tuesday night. You all have to wait after the wedding to see their dresses and my but they are beautiful.

First done

This is my first real scrap page done on my own, yes you guess that. Its not as good I want it to be but Im trying and my real first go at it. :) Cheers Deb

Mate

Old mate of mine is hurting, but they are fighters and I know they will get through whatever they are going through. I can't help them but I can be here when one day and if they need it. I'm alway will be here, no matter what is happened before. I hope they know that.

Life is to short.

That's why I will never be angry or sad again, its a waste of time and I don't have time any more for that.

Jess hen night

Well today is Jess hen night, well it started at 3 and still going I think. Here are some photos from it, some Im leaving off here too.

After they went to town in a hummer, why Jake ,Stacey, nathan and I went to the movie s to watch paranormal 4 and it was funny. The boys were hiding their faces. It was not bad. Well I finally got a dress today, well I got two dress and little jacket. well thats it for now.