My mum

Off the see my mum soon, my sister tells me she not doing well. They tell me now but not when it happens. I getting very shitty with them because they think, its all about them. So I going to take her out for lunch and do some work around her house,

Yesterday Stacey and I went to the beach gee we walk for a hour then we had to walk back, but it was good. It hard at the moment with no gym and the knee still a bit sore. Over the holidays, I have realise that one hell of a lonely person and no one and I mean no one to hang with me. Other people have there own lives and don't want me to be a part of theirs. My kids are older now and don't want there mum as much and my friends have there family and don't need me. Well it feel only when they want something that when they need me. I hope they are missing me because this going to be happening more and more. Yeah I might sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself but I just wish I could. Once it was just us hanging out for fun but now it nothing but me.

Well that's it for now.

Cheers Deb.

What a great night

What a awesome night, just got back from wicked the musical. What a awesome show and I loved it. The truth came out about who was in the wrong.

Beach

Here I am sitting down at the beach thinking things over and having a little cry too. I know I'm good enough and I know I matter, so why do I feel like I don't. Why do everyone makes me feel like I don't or is it because it makes them feel better if they do. Yeah I might not have a lot things but I am worth something. Maybe I should say no from now on and don't let people walk over me.

Well thats it from the beach, shit I better move the sea coming in.

Cheers Deb

well

Well what am I doing, this is the question. I know in my heart what I need to do and I know in my head is doing what it wants. It a fight between the head and the heart. My head is winning that the worried part, my heart is starting to become cold, don't want it that way but it is happening that way. Lets hope I can stop it from going the way it is but maybe I can't stop it on my own.

Well that's it from me

Cheers Deb

Not a good person

I'm a train wreck at the moment and not a very good person. Just ask people I know, I know what they are thinking and what they think about me. I dont really care anymore, Im sick of being in the wrong and feeling like I'm not a good person. I know I am, I do anything for anyone and never ask for any thing return.

MA "I Don't Want To Feel (Like This Anymore)" Karl Paul's Turn Back Time...

Yep I dont want feel like this anymore.

When

When well I feel better and loved, the love is what I miss. We just fight and fight, it not just hurting us it hurting everyone around us. I"m so sick of feeling this way and I cant do this anymore. All I want to do is run away from everything and everyone. I dont feel any love and I feel that anyone loves me anymore. I feel Like I have no one in my life, I feel no one wants to be in my life.

Old Friends

Tonight I went to the footy, last night couple of my friends keep messaging me and calling me telling me they going to see me at the footy. Yeah Lesley and her family and Marian and her son came as well. It was a fun and funny night, they all went for bloody south Adelaide. Well next Sunday we might go to the footy again, this time it will Port and us and they will go for port Adelaide but cant wait if they come.

well I here

It been a while and feels good to be back, over the last couple months, I have left this private. Someone was saying things about it and I was getting into trouble for it so to help me, this why this had to happen. So for my eyes only, So I have delete everything I have written here. Well it wasn't very nice, what I wrote on here. This was what I was feeling right at that time. Well I have a lot of decision to make soon, well some it has to be now, my head feels like it going to explode if i don't. Some people might get hurt by some of it, but I need to be free of all this stuff. I am scared to do what I going to do but I need but just when is the question. The other is my uni study, am I going tback to it or not I havent really decide yet but I have to before end of May.

Well thats it for now.

Cheers Deb.

Well Im back