Its book

Wow this where we are staying for my niece wedding, a two story hoes and it beautiful and didn't cost much to stay, we only have to walk across the golf course to the wedding and reception and back. We all looking at thinking shit do want to go to the wedding or stay there. So here are some photo of it.

This all I want

This all I want is peace, so here is a flower of peace.

On the right road.

╰ღ╮❤╭ღ╯ Remember that you were born with a divine purpose and destiny that only you can fulfill. Be your authentic self if you want to fulfill that dream that sleeps within your soul. My life is much happy now and as Alison keeps telling me, I need to find myself and start doing things for me not anyone else. It a hard lesson to learn but with my buds at the south it working. She could see it when we meet the other day. I had a spring in my step but it still long road to go but I'm on the right road. Ready for the next hard road that is coming.

So true

Yes I am leaving past in the past and dealing with it and it getting easier and easier everyday.

Life

Well last week was a little hard for us but hey. Stacey struggle with her exams only because what she going through. At least the high school principal knows what going on and is supporting best as can, they been wonderful for her. Having her own youth worker and her clinician they been brilliant for her. So we are getting to be in a great place before she goes through hell for a while. With me getting a tattoo has giving me a new leaf of life I'm so happy and love life. Living my life for me not for someone else has help. I still have my nails and i don't mind them. Stacey going out with one of her friends at the weekend has help to enjoy life and on sat night hanging out her other friend is just been a god sense. Jess is enjoying her Married life and Lisa is still Lisa, Jake has finished school but he so happy and still losing weight. Soon it going to be my niece wedding then my family will get together again. Well thats it for now enjoy life.

Well I finally got one.

Today I finally got one and it all me. Have finally got a tattoo on me and it who I am. I love it so much. Here a pic of it. A angel and the sign of the Gemini.

HMMMM

I just wonder who like to read my blog, there seems to be the same ones on here? I don't mind if you are enjoying reading it but if you are keeping eye on me thats a different story but hey if thats what you want to do, do it. You wont find anything bad on here but all about me and my family. ENJOY

life

Yes

Tonight going to have a few drinks, it has been s hard week but fun. Thank god last day of swimming. Love stirring my buds from south, they take it from me now and give it back. Looking forward to the holiday, stacey and I are going to do a lot of day trip. Looking at mt remarkable and other places. I have lots decision to make.

Stacey

Today Stacey turn 17, wow how time flies I remember her when she was born. She save my life when she was born. Thats why we are so close together, because it was her and I. So here some photo of her.

Lonely

Just laying on stacey bed with her, crying. Why now I really do miss my friend so much. Just wish things were different but they are not. My family keeps telling me if they were true friend they wouldn't have walk away or now they would fight back to talk to you. Why do I dream of them talking to me and stacey said she even start to dream about them. Why is what I want to know why is someone keeps helping me dream about because I'm trying not too. Dont even think about them that much anymore but my dreams are. I have cried enough and I don't want to anymore. It's started to be hard to think of the good time and now just thinking of the bad times which wasn't a lot. Please no more dreams.

I can't

Over the last week or so, its time I move from here and find somewhere else to live. I been thinking another state or even the country. It will help Stacey to be happy and then she wont be afraid to live the life she should. Well my baby is 17 tomorrow and how she has grown into a beautiful young lady and she has grow up so much lately and she will have to go through a lot soon and her motion will be hard to control. I'm seeing it now with me, Nathan and school and wanting to be alone and having no friends that understand her. She told me that she has told someone what happen to her and what she will be go through soon. It time to start thinking about my future and other things. Its time to move on from everyone in my life. The good and the bad. The ones that say they are your friends and you know they not anymore. So please don't take this the wrong way, if I don't talk to you don't take it the wrong way. I just don't trust you anymore.

Jason Owen's: 'Make It Last' - Winner's Single - Grand Final - The X Fa...

I like this guy he was so down to earth and he was so different. He might not have won but he still won my heart.

yes

Guy Sebastian - Get Along

I love this song , it has so much meaning to it. I just wish we could just get along.

This is how I feel

more saying

Jess and Chris layout

Tonight I was thinking about how to do this page, hey it might not be perfect but its all mine. This is my daughter wedding pictures of her hubby and her.

Art

Over last couple of weeks I have been trying all different art works. Where I work we have been teaching the student different ways of drawing and other things. So I have getting more and more into it. With scrap booking, card making and drawing my feelings. Alison told me it will help with all the stress and worry we are going through, so stacey and I have been buying help of art stuff over last few weeks. I'm trying charcoal drawing and I'm in a middle of a page of Jess wedding.

move on move on

Yep move on and move on, I am but I still want to be friends. Yeah you have your friends and I'm not one of them. I just want to be mate that's all. yes you have your support that's find because I have to much going on in my life to support anyone and only my children I can support. Yes you don't like me writing on here about it but its the only way i know you get told. All I want us to sit and talk and clear things up, not in a nasty way, just clear things. Ok no more.

Finish product

Here is the finish product of Stacey painting, it brilliant. Im going to frame this art work.

Yeah

It's just not right, talking about something to someone and I have leave the room when they walk in its just not fair or right all. No wonder I'm bitter about it.

Stacey

Im so proud of Stacey art work she very talented. Here a painting of Stacey is doing for her art class. Yeah it not finished and it bit dark. This how she feel and how her mind is working. Every day its getting harder and harder to get her up for school and she is suffering I cant do anything to help but just been here when she cries and needs a hug. So here is the photo of her painting.

Facebook

Facebook is a waste of people time and it not a great place to many back stabs. It not a safe place and it a place where you loose your friendship. I have learnt a lot over the last few months about people. It can be a sad place for people too, I see my kids get hurt by comments and even I can say I have made a bad comment too. I lost someone that meant a lot to me and I never ever thought I would lose them at all but maybe it was time for us both to move on. We are heading in different direction, I have personal stuff going on with my kids. This will be the last time I will ever write this because it time to go with out them in my life, like they have with out me. I hope maybe in the future we could be friends again but can't at this time. They can't forgive me for something and I can't forgive them what they have done to me, it has made me very uncomfortable at my work place because if it. So we both have hurt each other.So thats it for this subject and it will never bought up again. I really worry about my children, so that going to be my first and only thing in my life for now. I just want to say this, I'm lucky I work with the most supporting staff ever and how they care about my personal life. We support each other,but the only thing is I have only told one person I work with what is happening now. Stacey is using her art to put her feeling in, there is a lot of dark pages and anger. NO MORE FACEBOOK FOR ME>

My Family

My beautiful Jess and Chris and my wonderful granddaughter Giselle.

I'm glad I saw this smile on this day, this is a memory i will never forget. Last Sunday I didn't see this smile as much but tears. It going to be a long and hard road for my family but as our family goes we are tough, we always will. Love you all and I will stand by you both until the end.I'm listen to Stacey sing sad song but I still a little smile now and then. So I will be standing right next to you both until the end and then after that to. I will help you both in the time head. LETS SHOW EVERYONE THE SMILE ON OUR FACE AND NOT LET ANYONE HURT US AGAIN AND DON'T LET ANYONE FEEL LIKE THEY CAN BEAT US DOWN EVER AGAIN.

Just one of those Days

Fallen - Sarah McLachlan

I have started to love this singer and her song, hey they maybe sad but they are telling stories

In The Arms Of an Angel - Sarah McLaughlin

Every time I heard this song it makes me cry because of all the people that have gone from my life, we will meet again some day.

Moving on

Time to move on and just be who i was 7 years ago and its time just do what I want and not worry about anyone else and then one day, maybe, just maybe some one will walk into my life.

"Hang On" by Plumb

For my beautiful girls hang on your family is with you all the way. My love is with you both and I will stand right next two and love and support you both.

Wow

R.I.P. Robyn Parrish! I couldn't believe me old school mate pass away yesterday when they turn off the machine and they were hoping she would breathe on her own but she didn't. You were so young to go, I hope yopu are at peace now and no more pain. Always in my thought and heart. See you Robyn one day will meet again and have a drink up there.

Thanks

I work with a great lady, today I sat by myself and she came over. What up Deb you look so stress and worry, non of this you look mad or angry. So I told what going on, we have only be working together the 6 weeks but it like we are newbie and we get on so well. She put her head on my shoulder and I put my on her head. It was nice to her why look stress, not angry like I use to get somewhere else. Well that's it and after cricket I'm going to see if I can make scrap page on Jess wedding.

Thank you is all need to be said

Last time

It be very hard day today for my girls and me and over the next few months and years, it not going to be easy for them, well we hope not years and just a couple of months. Today I found something out that explain alot with eldest daughter. Well that it about that. Here are some photos of Connor and Lesley 50 birthday. Connor turn one this week and he a cutie and we all love him.

Last night was Lesley 50th Birthday, it was great to see her brothers i grew up with. So here are some photos from last night.

What a night.

Lesley had her 50 birthday party, just got home from it. First it was Connor birthday party not much a party when every one pulled out, not even my family didn't come and didn't say anything pretty piss with them. Well we still had fun, Jess Chris Giselle and us. Lisa was upset but who needs people like that in your life anyway. Well pics tomorrow, I need sleep. A big day and emotion day for us tomorrow but only lesley know this and it's not a place for it here. So see ya later with picture of iConnor birthday and lesley party. Lesley and marian have been a big help in my life and I so glad we got back in contract, they have help me more on with my life. So I'm over every thing that was in my pass. So has Nicole she has been a god sent to me.

It's a shame

More on this dream

It has me in a spin and I cant get it out of my head. When I said I was over it, I meant I finally can walk in a room and not feel angry and sad about it. I can walk away and not worry they don't like me anymore and need to talk to see why. I still class them my close friend but then on other hand all the things that have gone on because of it I shouldn't. Hey doing a circle time with kids today and we use these cards and I had what is forgiveness, well that was a hard one for me, I so i said one of the student to do it and they just look and what. They did and then I hard to say what it meant for me, well I said it when someone has hurt you so bad and you can forgive them. Then one of the other said well my close friend I had some bad fights but we can always forgive each other because they are important to me in my life. What would i do if I didn't have them and they hug each other laugh, these two have show me what real friendships is and they only kids. Then there was another card and one of the kids Deb needs to explain this and I went sorry I can't. She said this was and I said i know and we left like that. So as I said these dreams are coming for a realise and I need to work them out. Things have gone missing in this house, things I was going to wear on Jess weeding and I end up wearing a angel necklace some gave me because that is I could find. hmm is all I can say and I'm not going to get my hopes up because as I know dreams don't always come true. Well tomorrow is Connor birthday party and we are all looking forward to it, hey even if only family that turns up, that's ok.

Dreams

They say if you dream of someone it's means you are missing them. Over the last week I have done nothing but dream of this person. With even them smile at me z And with us hanging out. I can't do this anymore it way to painful, why now when I was so over it. I don't want to dream anymore. Is it trying to tell me something I don't know and I can't ask either. Oh well I hope my dreams will make sense soon.

Birthday

My wonderful grandson first birthday today, he had a birthday party. The child care gave him one and we having one at the weekend for him. I think my work mates are wondering what, who they would work with. It was bloody funny, i scared a few and took the piss out the others but they did get me back. They say we have rebel in the mist. We had a great day, lovely lunch. This is what he did at child care.

true

=Claire-Eugene= When I look through your eyes-I can see -How delicate you are beneath it-What turmiol there is-In this life that you lead-And how you stah so strong in this constand struggle-Is a mystery to me-In this time of need-Oh ,how I wish you could see-Through my eye-What a difference it would be-What a rare thing you are-Such beauty-What a treasure-a jewel-Oh, my friend-I wish you could see-What a beautiful Soul you are....-,,,,Claire-Eugene Denton Bear © copyright

Netball

Well we won again this time against Stacey Friends from school. It wasn't easy but we got there at the end. I was told to email but after last time I don't think I can be reject again. I was told we both are feeling the same and both want to but just don't know how the other feels. I don't want to be reject again, that what scares me the most. so I wont talk or look or email, because they still don't want to be friends with me. Do I believe this person, they never been wrong before and that what I hav been dreaming to but I just think it wishful thinking.

Time

Its time to tell the truth and bring my two girls peace, well Stacey needs it so much. I hope she gets the support and understanding from her friends, well that's if she has any friends but it doesn't matter she has her whole family, the Wortmeyers and the Piscioneri behind her and always will. I'm giving Jess time to enjoy her married life before I get her do what she has to,so by the end of the week things are changing for my kids and Jess is lucky she has a wonderful husband to help her through all this and great friends too. All I need is me.

yes

Very True

Wedding

Jess was so beautiful on her wedding day, so were all my children and even her father. Here is every beautiful photo of my mother and Jess and Chris, I saw a different side of Chris on sat with my mum. The next photo is of Jake, Stacey and Lisa.