In a world of my own

You can say that at the moment, I'm really on my own. I have to make a decision on my own and no-one can help me. I have try to talk to the hubby but he just walks away from me, I was telling Jess about it and he just walk away again. What did he say get a real job, OK I thought it was a real job. I'm going to miss one person and only one person if I go. The hard part is Stacey is going to be so far from me and how am I going get to her right away, who going to be there for her if I'm not. That why this decision is going to be hard but it going to be good for me to get out and have no-one near me. I'm going to be so much on my own and not going let anyone get close to me. Still haven't made it but I need to by the week end and I need to know more.

Cheers Deb

NOPE

Well I didn't get what I want today and I wont ever get it, so do I stay in the education system or just get out of it. That what I have to do decide what I want. I'm so depress at the moment and nothing is going to get me out of it. No-one will get me out of it, even gym isn't helping me and I'm just going hell for leather and getting know where. All I want to do is just curl up and hide from the world and everyone in it..... Merry christmas Deb this is your gift........

Cheers Deb

Stacey

Today is Stacey birthday she is 15 now, I wonder where has the time gone. The day she was born was a very difficult on, she doesn't know any of this. My husband and I separate two months before she was born, boy it was hard on me and my other kids. They were my support and my rock, it wasn't easy for them and they didn't understand why, to be honest I didn't either, he chose something else over his family. So the day Stacey was born, I had my mum staying with me and my two older sister came to the hospital to support me and stay with Jess and Lisa. There was so much love in that room with my sisters and my kids and knowing Jake was been look after from my mum. Jess name Stacey and my sisters are very close to her because they were there. Her dad isn't he miss the most important part of her life. So on that day I decide she will never find out and I have keep it that way. I glad she came then because I was finding it hard and my family didn't understand, but just looking in her eyes it was there the love of this beautiful baby. She is still beautiful and this probably why we do everything together.

SO A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BABY GIRL YOU ARE 15 TODAY
LOVE ALWAYS MUM XOXOXOX

Gym

Gee it been along time, but here is some fun news. My best friend Sharon and I have join a gym, will we join last week and already be there 5 times, It so much fun and i love it how we support each other on our journey to get fit. After 10 times we can get a special card which help you tackles the machine to you ability and I cant wait. At least we are having fun and we are enjoying this at the moment but we both have goals and that what we need. It nice to see best friends doing things together that is important to both of us and it so much easier for us. To me it has made our friendship more tight than what it was before but that me. Here a saying that I like and very true,"Friendship isn't about who you have known the longest.  It's about those who came and never left your side ......" That what Sharon has to me.


Cheers Deb

Thanks god it much better

Yesterday I went to my reunion and it was a very funny day. All these pic are from where we all lived long time ago. Lesley house is first, her and I lived across the road from each other.  The  last time I saw of that house was 24 years ago My house is the second one. The last house is Marian old one she lived up the road to me and Lesley. It was funny when we walk around the area, where Lesley and I lived it was hill, we both said we don't remember this hill being so big lol. The very first couple of pics are from our school, we use to play on these monkey bars, so I had idea of all getting on them like old time, but hanging down from this time, just a bit to old for that. It was a great day to see some very old friends that I grew up with, my bridesmaid Teresa was there to but we still couldn't talk like we use to but on the other hand Lesley, Marian and I, we just couldn't stop and it was so easy with them. We still give each other shit but I felt a little gang up on by them to lol.

down and out

Yep I feeling really sick at the moment, toilet bowl and I made friends all night, but this morning just the head and stomach muscle are sore. My heart is hurting a lot to this morning. Well tomorrow off to see my old primary school we have a reunion and its their 40th birthday I went to the very first day it was open and had to leave all my friends at my other school but I knew this was a new journey for me. I made a lot of new friends there, one was Lesley she moved in across the road from me so we end going to school together, u could say we were join at the hip. Teresa was another one she was my bridesmaid at my wedding and I get to see her again after 15 years. Let hope we can talk like we use to but I cant see that happening. Marian is going to be there to when she can and Lesley is hoping to get there before it finished but might not. We all intend to just walk around the old neighbourhood and just remember when it was so much easier. I'm taking Stacey with me to show her my school life and her to meet all my old school mates and maybe meet my teachers, where they can spin a line about me in school lol. I hopefully we can look at pic of us when we were just young kids with no care in the world and no problem to deal with. Yeah we had a fights and yes I was the one that didn't forget it and Brood about the fight and would just let it go of my anger and punch things because I was mad at them.  tell ya what I miss those days when it was much easier or really was it. Cant wait to walk the corridor again up those step to room 7 and where I spent most of my life and then on the monkey bars where we all just hanged out, yes we just hang there. Going back and having a look at the areas where i played sports and where I just enjoyed being kid. But they say you cant go back and not everything can be the same. That's a real shame but that life of growing up........ Nothing can ever be the same but let hope it can get better, than it was......