To young to die

This morning i went to work, just to be told one of my favourite teachers has pass away on Friday, from long illness, which we all had hope had finally got it uncontrolled, but no. It was a very sad news, Janet was a funny loving teacher which, I had a great friendship with at my work. This news just reminder me what it was like when I was told about another great teacher that pass away few years ago. She was my daughter teacher two years earlier. It was so hard then and now too but the memory just came flooding back and all i could see all day was these two people that made a impact on my life and others life from my daughters and other students. What was so strange the phone call I got from my mate Tania about Janet's death then we spoke about Tania passing. Her daughter was in the same class as my daughter, our girls adore Tania when she was teaching and long after they would talk about her. My mate Tania and I would go in and just chat with Tania about her life and other people in her life she was a wonderful teacher and today made all those memories just come flooding back. Janet will be solely miss by everyone she came in contact with over her teaching life. Just as Tania was she had the same friendliness and caring of her students and their families, you really don't get teachers like these two to care about their students as well as their family they had a heart of gold. RIP Janet you will be miss. You have been miss by all Tania.

Cheers Deb

did I or didn't I

I finally got up the courage to look to see if i pass this semester but of course they not up until the 8 Th of July. It starting to get on my nerves and making life difficult for the people around me. My moods are up and down at the moment and I really finding it really hard to control. I think i really need to blow up and it might just be better. Well my sister felt some of this today, I asked about the weekend if i could get a lift with them since I'm going up to mum by myself. Shit you think I was asking her to give me a kidney. My other sister was saying yeah we can, but sis 2 was saying we go in your car and she just started. I said this was bloody bullshit and really don't worry go in my car. Then I went for a walk to cool off and when i came back she said I'm sorry, bloody hell my sister never say sorry to anyone. So finally I got that from her. My two older sister birthday this week and sister 2 is taking us all out for their birthdays. I'm so sorry to anyone of my family and my close friend who is probably wandering what the hell is going with me lately but that if they have notice...

Cheers from me Deb

Uni

Well i have just receive my last assignment from my other tutor. Well that a lot better news for me I have pass this one and now we just have to wait for final result. I'm going to write to my other unit tutor to let him know I did get it proof read and i did make the changes on advice, so what I don't listen to people that are trying to help me. Well I'm happy that I pass three Of my assignment in teacher as planner. I still have a lot of work to go with it and I like the comments she gave me. At least I feel better about my degree now, if I don't pass the other one I still will keep trying. I hope the people around me, just keep being patience with me and support me still. well I really mean my family that is. i still hear my sister don't worry you tried and now it time to give in because your out of your dept but then I hear my brother go for it, you only can try. I think I like the last one.

Cheers Deb

what is life

yep what is life, the life my daughter is carrying inside of her, which i will meet in two months. I really can't wait. Uni tutors that just say your assignment is shit and doesn't want to read anymore of it. Sick and tried of everyone telling me it will be alright, sorry but it won't be alright, when i fail my unit and I just couldn't care about doing anymore. Then Life, I hate to fail and its just not me, that make me so mad at myself, but once again no-one understand or just doesn't care. So really while should I care. I so much wanted to be a teacher but do I really want to go through this every time. Hey I still don't know about one yet and that was in before the other one, did it get lost in the post or is that one just as shit as the other one. Is life going to swimming today and really sore all over and not only sore from it, then coming home to washing and then I need you to tow my car because it has shit itself. My darling husband has only had it two weeks, bloody great fine you twit and now sorry but I cant mow the lawn because I fixing my car, so I'm sore from this morning swimming now I'm out there mowing bloody lawn in between the washing and dishes and then cooking tea. While I have two that are sick but Stacey did help with the dishes she a darling and very sick at the moment. Is life sitting up waiting for a bloody locum because you sweet daughter is so sick. So is life you just don't know what to do anymore and you just want the life you had a few years ago, where you were in control of your life and couldn't give a shit about anything. Some days yes but some days no, because of one person i have meet in last few years. Well that it about life for now and just hope it improve.

Cheers Deb

Happy birthday

A big happy birthday to my big brother David, his birthday today and we are 12 years a part. He's the one I call on with advise about things that I don't like to talk about. he my knight and shining protector, he love me so much he is always there when I need he and try and get to think more often and tells Me do what you need, i be their at the end. He lives so far away from me but I know if I need him, he would be here in a flash. I don't tell my family much because I'm the youngest and they treat me like a baby which I hate so much. I have been told by my sister that just older than me we are all going up to my mums in a couple of weeks to do some cleaning up, which i don't mind. Even my other brother is coming and he never does much for us, but its going to be nice. i have decide to have a drink to celebrate my brother birthday. Had mum and son today, Jake and I went to the movies to see terminator it was such a good movie and we both like it.
Cheers Deb

life

hey I have giving up on anyone I just don't really care anymore. With my birthday over and not one present from my family and still no happy birthday from the other half. He knows it was because, I told him you know it was my birthday yeah so was his come back. I'm not going out of my way for anyone, anymore no one goes out their way for me, so why should I. I have been thinking alot about this over last weekend and this week. My highschool mate rang me on tues night to see how was going and we were just talking about everything what was going on in my life and in hers. Hey hers is better than my, but she said will be if I need her. I trying not to need anyone, I have to go through this on my own, I don't want to depend on anyone they all let you down, i don't want to be let down again. No word on how I went on my assignments yet.

Cheers Deb

jess and life

Jess rang me about 10:30 last night, she been cramping over the day and has lost some fuild. Chris and his mum made jess who is starting to freak. When she rang me I told her to relax and lets see what the hospital say. So they were running test after test to see whats going on. The blood test came back with something wrong with it so they said they were keeping her in for the rest of the night. so I got home back from the hospital at 4, try to get to sleep, which was about two hours. then i rang her at 845 to see how she was then again at 1055, she still had to wait for a scan. she mess me at 1240 to let me know she of home and to bed, i glad but they must keep a eye on her now. At the moment I keeping to myself, not talking to anyone, just can't be bother. well I'm not going in to it, it staying with me in my head and where no one can go.

Cheers Deb

happy Birthday the ending story

I'm glad it over for another year, I don't feel any older. My big brother David rang me today, I really glad we chatted and chatted, I haven't spoken to him for 6 months. i told him about everything and i glad i did, he my protector and always has been. Now I have his new phone number and email address. It was really nice to catch up with my best friend from high school she rang me last night, Jo and I always call each other on our bithdays, we dont see or talk to each over the year but we alway make sure we call and mess each other on our birthdays. Nope no happy birthday from other half but who cares not me. Uni is over for now and now it just and wait and see if I pass my units. I feeling really sick at the moment, i probably need a day off tomorrow.
Cheers Deb

happy birthday part 2

What a day, not one happy birthday from my hubby. I went shopping to buy my own present, then I got depress shopping I really hate it, I so much wanted to buy something but there was nothing i like or fitted shit I really hate shopping. The one time I wanted to go out buy something and it never happen, bloody hell. My sister rang from her dragon boat racing it was really nice. My big bro rang but I missed it I was out walking of some anger, he never rings so it was nice. Well I'm having one or two drinks. My daughter lisa is trying to get me to go to town with her friend and her but I'm just to old to hang with 19 years and 22, maybe i should. Jess rang me to wish me a happy birthday. Well here another great birthday, maybe next year it will be a better one or lets see if i can tops this one of..

Cheers Deb

happy birthday to me....

yep I'm a year older today, do I care maybe in some way but in other ways nah.. No-one in my family has wish me a happy birthday, but that nothing unusually. I'm just wondering what I want to do to day. I think I might go shopping on my own and I might go to the movies on my own to. This is what my life is going to be like when my family leave home so I might as well get use to it. So I'm going to have a lot of drinks tonight on my own and enjoy my birthday with me,myself and I. I have had message from my friends Sharon and Jo. My sisters did give me a heart necklace for my birthday. My hubby just looks at me and say nothing, thanks you think he could just wish me happy birthday nah....... Well I must just Stacey just wish me happy birthday because it was on the computer. I wish this day would hurry up and be over. Well I'm going shopping on my own now, well might invite Stacey to go, but I think I will go to the movie tonight just to get out....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME............

Cheers Deb

Saturday night

Having a quiet night home with at least two of my kids. School work is over for now and now I have to wait to see if i will pass my units, i hate waiting to see, this is the worst time and I'm not very patience person with this stuff. Well back to me I'm sitting having a few relaxing drink or two or even three. Went to the footy today watch my favourite footy team and we won yahoo. My sister just older than me took me and stacey, gee and I got in trouble again but she did say i don't want to pick but... My mum having had a operation on her face the other day, she has skin cancer, we have to wait and see that they got it all. When talking to my sis today I find out something that I'm really mad at ( well I'm mad at myself) mum had a fall the other week and she couldn't get up and had to crawl all the way to the back door. Thats really scary and we are all concerns now, what do we do. Now I know why my dad was smacking my hand with the reading I had the other day, I understanding that he was telling me off. I promise him that I would see and look after my mum and I know I not and my sister told me that. Sorry dad I know I not a very good daughter.