jake

Happy birthday Jake, it hasn't been a great one one but I love you. It a shame you are sick but at least I didn't spend it alone.

mum

This one of the last picture of my mum at jess wedding. This song is for you mum because you are my hero but this not goodbye and I cant say goodbye Im not ready. If I do im alone then. LOVE YOU MY MUM AND YOU ARE ALWAYS IN MY HEART <3

kapunda

Stacey and I went to kapunda last night now. To have a look at the cemetery, well didntp see anything at all. My hairs on my arms stood up and I had a funny feeling all over but only in some areas. Well off that subject I hope oneday a old friend will have time for me and have coffee one day but I can't see that happen . On another note on the 28th one chapter closed and a another begins.

love this

I love this and this what's gets me through the dark times. I hope this helps anyone going through what we are. I have print this out for Stacey and put it on her wall so she wakes up to it every morning.

ME

Stacey

I read something I wasn't meant too but i'm so glad I did. It was so scared to think she been thinking that way for a while. I put a friendship first before my daughter as she write. Thinking back she might have been right. No one knew she was going through this and how she was in a dark place and now she even more of a dark place, lucky for her boyfriend. I had to tell him it not about him, its about her. He such a caring one and my family told him your a keeper but. How much she hurt herself to the point she wanted to die. I think that would have destroy me if she did. I'm going to show her councilor because they need to see whats going on. she doesn't have any friends which is so sad. I look at her I see the pain in those big eyes, its so deep. So i put my pain back inside me and give her the attentions she needs and deserve. My mum and her got so close over the last few months when just her and I were going up there. She took a pic of my mum and I just before she died and I haven't been able to look at it. I hope she find the love of friendship again because I would hate to her became me.

looking on the bright side of life

Well Christmas is over. With the life is we need start looking at it different now. Yes mum gone but never and I mean never forgetting. The last thing she said to me was, she was proud of me and I couldn't do anything wrong in her eyes. If people can't see beyond hate and forgiveness, they are not worth being in your life. She knew I was suffering but she didn't want to go, with me hurting. Them she said you will meet people that will want to be a part of your life. Open yourheart a little to let them in but not all the way until you are ready. Even though she not her any more I dream of her helping me. Her last thoughts was of Connor and Jess wedding. Got I miss you mum and its been two weeks now but someone sent me a message yesterday. Enjoy Christmas Deb and remember the ones that have left are here in your heart and always watching you. This someone that's has push themself into my life over last few months, but they know its hard to trust. Old buds from school have been great support though all this. One knows what its like to have no mum and dad. So with all this I have to look forward to my life and go in but it still hurts.

Well its christmas day

Today is going to very hard for my family. This is a Christmas with out my mum. Its only been just over a week when she pass away. So its a very difficult day for us. We all spending Christmas together well my sisters and I. Stacey is off with her boyfriend for lunch and Jess is off with her other family. So the rest of us off to spend with the rest. I have always said mum was the rock that kept us together, she still is. So tomorrow is going be really hard for u, week ago we buried her. God I miss her so much I just realize just how much. I know she be there for us. My family is worried because. I haven't cry yet.Bonnie and Andy and Dave wont be there, Bonnie is Olympic out for the day she just wants to sit in her garden and hang with the dogs. Dave is still in treatment and we were lucky he got to come to mum funeral. So you guys will be in out hearts. Well merry Christmas everyone and enjoy your day with your family.

MISS

What I miss, every Christmas Eve a old friend and I would take our families to see Christmas light and spent time opening present. We did this every year but not anymore I miss that. I wish I could talk but that can't happen. This has been a very hard year and wish it was finally over but its not going to be any better next year. I was told something that hurt even more but I need to move on. I just think what comes around will bite them back. I God I miss you and need you more than ever and I need to talk. No I wont cry.

my family

My children are so wonderful, today they got me out to go the shopping. They trying to get me in the Christmas spirit. I can't no tree up, no decoration up. No Christmas cards, just not Christmas here. Giselle gives me different colours, I was her purple nanna then I was blueand when my mum started to get sick she start saying to Jess. I was black nanna, I was black nanna. This was very weird could she see my Aurora. Could she see the pain I was going through when no else could, she always hugging me a nd just loving me. So for now I'm black nanna.

Hospital

I didn't think I would be back here at this hospital to soon. As can see mum was rushed down here from the yorke on the flying doctors. This is where we were told she was dying. We did go and I felt sick as well but NY sister in law was there. She going to being there for awhile they can't work out was going on. She has been a God sent for me. Its been so hard to watch my mum die but she told me to forgive people that have hurt you and live life. Open up my heartfrom hate and hurt to the people that have hurt me. So I have, she wonderful she inhigh spirits and she knows it hard for me. So now we pray that she gets better for my brother and us. We can't take anymore of this.

ok

Ok we are wondering what we have done to go through all this pain. There is one thing Christmas is over for us. Just talking to my brother my sister-law is not doing great, shit she only 59. We are so over hurting no more. I'm not coping with my mum passing and this on top of every thing else. Michael hurting because never got to say goodbye to his Nan andthe rest are hurting because of all our family's stuff. Stacey is wonder why 3 passing in couple weeks.

MUM

Oh mum I need you more than ever now and i cant sit down and talk to you. You would help me and listen to me. I missing that already. Why are they keep hurting me mum, why cant they leave me alone now.

come on

Gee what's going on,getting more bad news. Christmas is started to look like no fun. We just been told Michael lost his Nan.We didn't know so in the last couple of weeks is really no fun. 3family members gone. I'm so over this year and its all bad luck.

Well

Well at least I know who more important, not me. Take everything away from me. You win I give up, I have had enough. Kick me while I'm down but who cares.

Lost and alone

There is only one person, I wanted to talk but I can't. I need only one person but I can't. I'm so lost and alone.

Stacey

Stacey is trying not to show the hurt. She said mum I haven't heard anything. We were supposed to be best friends I rang her and private mess them on Facebook,nothing not a thing. I told her not to worry .

walk

I went for a walk along the beachto try and clean my mind. Didn't work I feel even more lost and alone than I did before. No body can understand what I'm going through. Two more days and the funeral I don't want to go. I haven't cried yet.

MUM

To my mum,dad and my nanna you are all together again and mum with your mum and dad and brothers. I have always envy people with a dad, because they were lucky. Now I have no mum and dad people are lucky to have parent alive. I have no one left for me. :(

not goodbye

Today is a day I will never forget, the 12/12/12 is the day my whole life has change and will never be the same again.

one day

One day at a time this is my life at the moment,no planning for anything at all.

Even though

Even with everything going on, I am quite happy and I have realise I can finally be me and I can deal with anything now. I don't let anyone get under my skin and I'm enjoy my life again. I have felt this good for a long long long time. I know I'm back. Thanks

Family

After a big weekend. My niece Sarah got married at victor harbour. So we left home yesterday at 8. We stay at a beautiful two storey house. Sarah was married at macranken country club. We stay just across from them. I will share photos later. Just a bit tired now. I drove from one coast to another coast and back home. After dropping every one off home, I drove over to the yorke to see my mum and have some time with her. Stacey took a picture of her and me because it might be the last time. Well I'm off to bed, back to both workplace tomorrow.

Peter

Our family isn't doing great, my uncle Peter pass away on Monday and we didn't know until the after the fact. We can't believe it and sad that he has gone. RIP uncle Peter

Stacey

I have been so lucky with the support from my work mate at the south, they have be the best thing for me and my family. Stacey has been working down there with me, well she been working with our art teacher. She been working with one of my teachers too and the kids just love her and so does all the staff. The big question is now well she is thinking about being a teacher, well a art teacher. She has done a great job an next week she working in the r/1 classes with art and cooking classes. I'm very lucky too have a lot great people I work with to take her under their wings and just what she needs. :)

Mum

Leukemia. We were told my mum leukemia is back, she was out of remission. it has been a hard time for us and a confusing time. On Monday my world was rip a part, the flying doctors flew mum down here to the hospital. She not in a great state, so I we all rush in and wait for the doctor. Yes the leukemia is very much back but the word BUT this all we need to hear the BUT word. Your mum is really not well, i'm going to be blunt with you. Your mum is dying and my heart just drop but i need to stay strong for my mum. Then they wasn't Finish there, your mum heart is failing and her lungs are and her kidneys. So that's all I'm going to say. All I know it not long to go and I lost my mum. We are fighter because my mum and dad bought us up well and we are Wortmeyer's. Tomorrow we are all going to try and been happy family and support my sister and her family with my niece wedding, mum was coming but she be there in spirit but not in body. I love you mum.

hell and back

Its been a tough few months for my family and now its not going to get any easier. Don't think Christmas going to end a happy one. Hey we are tough one and we are supporting each other through this time. I did have a laugh today to see how petty Some people can be. Then I thought well I'm so glad it over because seeing the real truth.

oh no

I got the worst news today when sister rang me at work.After 40years its back and there might not anything anyone can do.

Finally

Got a new house phone on a much cheaper plan, thanks to Telstra. Every thing is new now we finally get calls when I give the number. They just set my mobile to it. The only need to know will get it. Love it, even have our Internet connect to it, so stacey can have my lap top and I can use this. Whoo just got to work out how.

Les Misérables-- INTERNATIONAL TRAILER -- Official HD [Universal Pictures]

I cant wait for this movie. I'm dying to see.

Just some random things