Happy Birthday Jess

At 2.30 today is the birth of my eldest daughter, well 24 years ago. So a big happy birthday to mine beautiful daughter JESS. I'm so proud of you and you know how I feel today because you have a beautiful daughter as well. The day I found out i was pregnant I knew I would love you forever and my life would change and it did. I was scared the day I had you because you came early than expected and i was on my own having you because the nurse and doctors were on strike and I thought I was going have you by myself but their was a one wonderful nurse who stayed with me and then your dad came back. I remember being in labour for 18 hours but when you arrive that all went out the door and all I could think of was, did I make her and is she really mine. Then they took you away because you were very yellow and then I was so scared because I couldn't understand why. They put you in a humanity crib but I did get to hold you, I was worry if I held you to tight I would break you. I was only 24 myself to, as you are now, with all the heart ache and pain over the last 24 years, I would do it all over again because you are my love and in heart as you were the day I saw you on the scan. SO A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESS.............

fun or not

I hoping things are going to better now and no more nightmare. We played our first game of cricket over last two weeks and we lost by 2 runs and I was very disappointed that we lost but hey it only the first and we still have a least another 8 to go. Well that's it for now, oh wait Its my eldest birthday this week, Jess will be 24 this Friday and then my old friend Lesley has her on Sunday she will be 48, yeah she was born on Halloween. well now thats it from me......

star for the week

Getting the boss to talk with and listen to you won't be a problem. Learning to delegate may be more pressing a task, though -- in the very near future. If some unsuspecting fool inadvertently angers you, expect to overreact. That said, it might be cheaper in the long run to hire a temporary bodyguard. Sure, you're angry. But how angry? In other words, it is more appropriate to pull out the verbal equivalent of a) a peashooter, b) a Supersoaker or c) a bottle of bubbles with a free bubble-blowing wand inside. Hmm. First, consider the source of your anger.

So let see how trhis turn out this week............

yep

 Here is some fun stuff, my star are saying this. Touchy? You? No way. You may, however, be a teeny bit moody, cranky or oversensitive -- but certainly not touchy. Unfortunately, the rest of the world may not be quite so astute at differentiating between these subtleties. Be nice, even if it's killing you and brag about your incredible self-control tomorrow. yep I could do this, where is the punching bag lol . this what my stars say about tomorrow

Well here some fun stuff.

Stacey and I went down to the beach and we took roxy. She was so very funny, she wouldnt touch the sand with feet at first then she wasnt going in the water. We got her in water and she hate it but she was very funny. Now she had a bath and all nice and clean and smells much better. I show you the concert pic soon as I get them back on my stick.

well

I went out and bought some new cricket gear and a diary this what i be writing in from now on. All my personal thought will be going in there and not here. Only my fun stuff I want to share and any news events will be post on here. Not any of my other thoughts they will stay very close to me and know one will ever see and or know what is written but me. This how I will talk to me and keep everything, no more will write things that hurt me or how I feel. This will stay close to my heart and only me know. So I'm going back to who I was and not talking about anything to anyone any more.

lost soul

I feel like I'm a lost soul lately and i don't know how to find me again. with all the stuff going on at work and in my life. I don't understand why I'm so angry lately and I don't have patience for anyone. I was a very patience person and didn't let anything get to me but lately everything is getting to me. From everyone that sook because they don't get there own way, to everyone that think they are right and to everyone that doesn't want to listen to me. I'm just walking away and keeping things to myself and I think this safe for me and probably more wise for me to do because i feel I just fly off the handle and finely tell people to grow up and just stop, your not the only ones in the world. I'm really looking forward to cricket season and getting to bat and hitting the ball and I mean hitting the ball. Just watch out if your the bowler because I ready for this. Maybe a punching bag would be good for me at the moment and give it a good hit. Everyone keep telling me everything be alright for next year with my work, but they don't understand because they have a job, I have to wait and see what happens. I hate the unknown and I need to know and it doesn't help. I'm alone in this world and that hows it feels and there is no one here for me to talk to and i don't know how to talk to anyone and are they interested in what going on in my life, or am i important enough to listen to.  Well that enough of this shit, it start to make sound like a bloody idiot and nuts.

concert

Tomorrow nite taking Stacey and Emma and Sharon to the paramore concert. Which we all cant wait to see, the girls just wanna go now and cant wait. Hopefully i can share some pic after the concert tomorrow.


First day back at work and it wasn't to bad, my boss wants to see me but just hid away but tomorrow i need to catch up and see what she wants. God I hope it not to bad news or hope it might the news I have been waiting for.

We didn't talk about what happen yesterday but i know you need to know what happen but that something i cant say.

Well that it for now, got get some sleep and then put my groove on for tomorrow nite lol

Im a

Yep the title say it all I'm a a bit of twit. I'm don't  know what I'm doing lately. Worry about you and now I'm doing stupid things and walking out on the only person that understands me, but today she wont understand. I don't really understand me. How did I get in this mood, well I do know but I dont understand why it bothers me so much?

lucky

I'm so lucky I have a very good friend that I have always thought of is my sister and I'm very lucky to be able to talk to her and knowing she will be there for me. One day i know when I need her most , she will be there. I know sometimes you like me to talk but you know me when I cant I really cant but you are always there for me anyway. Thank you

feeling

I'm feeling pretty sick at the moment and I really don't know what to do. i don't think any of us do. I thought my day couldn't get any worse but it did and now I don't know,  who I can turn to. Or who can I talk to, shit I just wish I could go back three days ago and just buried my head in the sand and not come out. maybe I should just get so drunk and hope it will all go away, but nope that not going to happen.....
Just seems no one will understand the feeling that are going on in my head and in my heart, what are we going to do and how can we. i saw someone I love very much die because of what had to be done I don't  want that ever again.  How can we not do something for you and why wont you let us help you, stop being stubborn and let us. I can see where I get it from.

holidays

 

 

 

 

Well finally i can show you pics from our wonderful holiday and trip to victor harbour,

Why

I don't understand why. I had some not so good news today. All I know is that if it happen I wont forgive you and i never will. The only thing is trying to stop it from happening, but that I cant and nobody can. Please when it does happen just say goodbye to us before, I love you very much. I might not show it but I love you and I will never forgive myself, if you go and I don't get to say goodbye to you. Well that has top off my holidays, after having a wonderful few days away with my closer friend and her family and my.

holidays

Half way though my holidays, haven't really done much but that going to change as from tomorrow. I'm heading up to my sister place, with Stacey and Sharon and her family. I really cant wait I haven't been there before so it a adventure for us all. All I know it has a wonderful beach. On Friday we all went to victor harbour for the day it was fun full day and very tired to. Stacey and Emma my me laugh all day with little funnies they did, they would do these silly things in all different pictures.

Well thats it for me I need to get some sleep up at 6 in the morning.

Cheers Deb