I had it enough of this life, all i want is just to start my life all over again. Go back in time and just start it again and just maybe it could improve and i could just change a couple of things. I would have finished my school the way i should have, stop all my friends from dying at a young age. Maybe i would have stood up to more people that have hurt me or maybe forgive them instead. Nah the forgiving would never had happen to hell of lot of those people..... I'm still haunted by alot of them and funny thing is they are still haunting me now..... I really wish people would grow up, maybe I just starting to see that I'm bloody old as i keep getting told......Or maybe i just don't want to turn that bloody age 50, it scare me because there is no return once there and life can end even more quickly once there... I think the lack of sleep and stressful life maybe doesn't help this feeling or maybe i just another holiday away from here and everyone in it...... Or maybe just give up on life and it has with me...
Play cricket tonight and just being on that field didn't help the way i feel, even with me running and driving just to see if pain in my foot and my body would make me feel better but nah.... Even the pain could make me feel... I just feel dead inside.....
Well that's it for now, i need to try and get some sleep if my brain will shut down....
Cheers Deb
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