My mum

Off the see my mum soon, my sister tells me she not doing well. They tell me now but not when it happens. I getting very shitty with them because they think, its all about them. So I going to take her out for lunch and do some work around her house,

Yesterday Stacey and I went to the beach gee we walk for a hour then we had to walk back, but it was good. It hard at the moment with no gym and the knee still a bit sore. Over the holidays, I have realise that one hell of a lonely person and no one and I mean no one to hang with me. Other people have there own lives and don't want me to be a part of theirs. My kids are older now and don't want there mum as much and my friends have there family and don't need me. Well it feel only when they want something that when they need me. I hope they are missing me because this going to be happening more and more. Yeah I might sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself but I just wish I could. Once it was just us hanging out for fun but now it nothing but me.

Well that's it for now.

Cheers Deb.

What a great night

What a awesome night, just got back from wicked the musical. What a awesome show and I loved it. The truth came out about who was in the wrong.

Beach

Here I am sitting down at the beach thinking things over and having a little cry too. I know I'm good enough and I know I matter, so why do I feel like I don't. Why do everyone makes me feel like I don't or is it because it makes them feel better if they do. Yeah I might not have a lot things but I am worth something. Maybe I should say no from now on and don't let people walk over me.

Well thats it from the beach, shit I better move the sea coming in.

Cheers Deb

well

Well what am I doing, this is the question. I know in my heart what I need to do and I know in my head is doing what it wants. It a fight between the head and the heart. My head is winning that the worried part, my heart is starting to become cold, don't want it that way but it is happening that way. Lets hope I can stop it from going the way it is but maybe I can't stop it on my own.

Well that's it from me

Cheers Deb

Not a good person

I'm a train wreck at the moment and not a very good person. Just ask people I know, I know what they are thinking and what they think about me. I dont really care anymore, Im sick of being in the wrong and feeling like I'm not a good person. I know I am, I do anything for anyone and never ask for any thing return.