Grand final

Oh yeah grand final, we are in the grand final for cricket. Oh next Sunday we are playing. Stacey can't wait this is her first. Bring it on westie girls.

Dreams, jake and family day out

I can't believe another dream but a bit different. Same people well a bit more in it. Just a different ending ok do what message is it now. Others telling you how stay away. Is this what really going on. Now I'm confused, other putting their nose in something they should and now they want out but to scared. I don't know. Listen to others and destroy things. I'm so proud of jake he eating so well for him and losing heaps of weight and I had to get out of my sick bed get some new clothes for him. He doing year 12 pe and learning how to eat better. Today we took Connor to look at more old cars it was a hot day and not good for someone running a temp but it gets him out of the house.

Dreams

Dreams what do they mean? I had been having same dream over the last couple night. Last night being sick and all I just put it down to being having a temp and that but sometimes I wonder. I know your not but why am I, I don't want to but I don't seem to shake it. If you are tell me because I would like to know. Last night was telling me your not needed I have this person and this person and this person and it was so cruel and nasty. I just went on to dream and how interpret. To see the same person in a dream. Again and again in your dreams is a sign that someone from the world after us trying to get in contact with you and trying to tell you something. You must try to understand and follow his or her direction. Hmm

Sick again

I can believe it sick again. It must be my year. Tonsillitis again just had it 3 weeks ago. Stacey was so exhausted today I gave her day off, she not sleeping at all with the stuff going on and all the school work. So today she slept and study. I know she wants to say hello but she her mother. Once hurt is no going back, I'm lucky she has support from one of my work mate. She know what's going on, well work mate some of them all know what had happen to her. They are great bunch of people. One was worried about me in class. Keep asking hey miss deb you ok, you seem abit sad today. Yeah I'm call miss Deb in the r:1 class. Well I'm off to the land of nod.

Stacey art

Stacey in art is doing, life and death and wow is all i can say. She has do 30 pages of art and her is photography. This is not a4, its a3. I'm so proud of her, she is still grieving for her nanna. Plus with all the court stuff and knowing it could taken up to two years and its a very slow process. With this art is about her nanna. Here are some photos from some of it. She so angry some her photos are like that. She see demons in the trees and giraffe and one pic is my mum and flowers Incorporated into it. I'm really worry about her, but one of the teachers I work with said she was the same moving away from people. she has always said not taken any crap this year, you either want to be in my life or leave. I tried to get her think about it but she decide i had enough, to be only one there when they want it. its been like that for a year mum and i have tried and tried but why do I always have too. I tried to keep her to keep a friendship but i wont but in anymore because she has asked me not to. So I will let her be but i watch her very careful. She home more often now and keeps to herself.

Memories and family

These are the last photos of my mum dads house and of the beach, Jake has lost so much weight and he is looking really good. Nathan and Stacey at the beach. these will be great memories.

Family

T

Well the first final of cricket tomorrow night. Just hope its not to hot and we better off batting. A weird thing happen yesterday, on the way back from the yorke. It only rain while we were visiting mum and dad grave. When we left maitland it stop. Jake said it was nanna and grandpa crying for me because I haven't cried yet. Came very close but stop myself. Well we bought all my stuff back and all of my dads old tools, some of them he had before I was born. So they been put away for jake because he hasn't got anything of his. So we took lots of pics of me on the balcony and I took pics of the beach. Talking to one of the guys I went to school. His wife and I were chatting about mum and dad as you can see they live up there. She was telling a lot of nice things about my mum and dad. It was nice to know how respect they were. I thought I'm going to get a memory bench for both of them there. With their pics and nice words about them. I have a feeling that's what they trying to do for us. They did so much for their community as I heard yesterday. So we going to keep in touch now, she going send me the newsletter every month now. I'm so proud to be their daughter. I will always have my parents in my heart. I hope everyone that still have parents tell them how much you love them because one day they are just gone and you can't talk to them anymore.

Sick little bunny

Last week was week 2 and Monday I went to work. Played a game cricket that night, got home and never left my bed for three days. Got home was sick as a dog in half hour. I end up having really bad case of tonsillitis, couldn't go back to work until last Monday. Now the Sso I work with got sick and the teacher I work with has got sick both with headache and sore throats. So guess who gets the blame me. Well that's over cricket we in the final, stacey play a great game And netball over for the season and now we are getting ready for next one. All the girls want me to coach them again so more likely I will. It's fun and now the uniform is changing to a dress. Footy season here soon and I can't wait. Back up the yorke to finish stuff off and saying my finally goodbye to the house and the beach, it will be the last time. In my work I'm so happy, I work with two wonderful teachers and learning and even thinking going back to uni now. These have given me a new life and some ambition to do it. I haven't had that for a long time. I have been giving more responsible to do my work. I haven't been this happy for along time. I'm glad I moved on, the feeling I get from my work is a high. This what my job is all about, enjoying what I do and I do it well. Plus a little stirring doesn't hurt either. Lol. This is what I needed and I glad I did do it. Even my boss said your not going anywhere now your ours. I have a smile on my face everyday. Cheers everyone.

time

I have change my email address, the people that need to know, have got it. it time i'm so over people sending me sick email. I want it to stop so I have done this. Talking to Stacey what has happen and I told her I was sorry. It will never happen again, but she understood where I was coming from. Like she said we shouldn't care what happens to them. I agree now. Yeah stacey I agree you can fight your own battles and don't need your mother to do it. I find this on a site I look at, treat others how they treat you, well if i did that i think my mum would rise up and belt me one. I couldn't never treat someone as they are nothing it not me. Well got to go now have a big day visiting the art gallery for Stacey and walking through the gardens in town to take photos of life and death for Stacey art project for year 12.

Got to stop

Yep got to stop, they laughing at you. Thanks buddy for telling me the truth when we spoke today. Yeah I thought was doing the right thing but your right I'm just being a idiot again. I thought saying something because I don't like people hurting but I should have known better. Sorry stacey I thought I was doing the right thing for you. I know i said I wouldn't interfere but I cared and didn't want anyone to hurt but i should know better. That they don't care about your feelings but hey it not ever going to happen again. It dead the whole pass is dead. It's time we help you heal and come through with everything. It's going to be a tough ride over the year for us all. I'm lucky I have people that care about me and my family. One of the teachers I work with was asking about stacey, she knows what going on with her. She told hey Deb don't worry I did the same thing in year 12 and remember she has your strength she get through with everything. I'm enjoying my job, love who I work with they both great and I get treat as equal, which I haven't had for years. Let me put my input in with the kids. We got a new pe teacher today and he a central player. It was funny I was introduced to him, like this oh this Deb she roosters supporter watch out for her. Then I get told hey don't give him to much of a hard time we want him to stay. So him and I are stirring each other now. Lol. Well that's it for now off to have a chat with the guys I work with.

Stacey and her message.

Stacey it something wonderful today. She came home from school with her art intro and said she made the teacher cry. It's about life and death of a flower and she said was about her nanna. This is what it say I thought of this because I have been going through the Grief of my nannas death. She reminds me of a flowers and how they open up then start to slowly die because she opened up to me and then started to slowly die. The message I'm sending by this work is that everything slowly dies and nothing lives forever. This so beautiful and I can't wait to see the art work for it.