family and studying

Today i spent half the day studying well trying to do my assignment but then i had a block. I couldn't find some of assignment on the sasca framework bloody hell, it just start to pee me off. So I woke my son up and took him shopping but i was glad for the shops. Hey it just wasn't only my school pissing me off my other half as well. Gee it really hard studying and working then you got to come home cook, clean, washing clothes and everything else while he sit in his bloody shed and does nothing. Then has the cheek to tell me where all the bloody food there nothing in the house, shit there plenty of food his just being a ass. sometime i wonder why I'm trying to put myself through this shit and just give up on studying is it going to be worth it, not at the moment. I really did enjoy hanging out with Jake and Stacey and they both enjoy it. I took him clothes shopping and shoe shopping. He hate shopping and he kept saying mum we have been at the shop for 3 hours, I just laugh at him. He cost me the bloody earth but it was worth it. It helps me to keep my mind off the idiot i live with and worry about Jess. Well enough of that must try and fin that stuff. I'm go to have a surprise tomorrow and some photos.

cheers Deb

Jess

Jess went to the doc and I didn't know until I read her facebook. She try to ring me today and I miss it. I really wish I didn't because she having test on her heart, she has alway had a heart murmur since she was a baby. They alway said she be fine but now the doc are concern and running test on her. Bloody hell why can't she just have a normal pregnancy no. So i rang her start away and now I'm kicking myself i should rang her early but no I'm caught up in my own little world of studying. So we were chatting about it at 1145 at night but she my daughter and I love her very much and if anything happen to her, I would be devastated she my heart and soul. So now we had to wait and see what happen with these test. Plus she told me they put her on more insulin, she has to have it twice a day. I know she trying not worry me but she mine. I'm her mum and mums are suppose to be their to protect their children and I don't feel I doing a very good job at protecting her. I'm suppose to being studying now but how can I. As I said before I really don't like these months, you know I don't pray but I'm praying to my dad and nanna to look after Jess and her baby. My Angel, my heart and soul and mind are always with you, with all my love and strength is with you everyday of your life use this to help you get through it. I love you Jess and our little one as well. love mum......

Cheers Deb

Cricket

yeah we played cricket tonight, I was playing really well until I hurt myself i should have come off back i just had to hit that last ball. I should have know but not me i hate coming off and I really want to win. They bloody won, sorry nanna I really did try for you. I feel I let her down again not only her but myself. Well I did get top score for my team but that not good enough for me. Hey did hang out with my mate today which is good for me, I was going to hide away from everyone. Which I was until lisa and I had a fight then i need to get out of here. So that is it for us this year in cricket and now I can rest my knee for next season and I really don't care who wins the final. Happy birthday to my nephew tomorrow and my nanna today.
Cheers Deb

family

Well what a week, It start of me getting sick. I tell you what it was not nice to have cramps and nothing can do about it. This went on for days, i would get home from work and just sleep. i didn't do no school work and i had to let my tutors know, they were pretty cool about it. Then Jess tell me she has to inject herself everyday with insulin and still pick her fingers four times a day but at least the baby all right. On Tuesday i got hit by the student I support and it was a shock because there was no realise for this to happen and i was so piss off at my self for the way i react to it. This not me to react that way, I have be hit and I do mean hit and it just didn't bother me. Friday night was the last night for me at coaching my un 9s, it was a bit sad, the girls just given me a hard time which nothing unusual. I will miss this but I'm glad it over. On Monday it my nanna birthday hey if she was alive she would be 105, People think I a bit strange because I know she with me all time and when these things come up, I just don't deal with it at all and I just don't want anyone around. It might be over 13 years since she died but she my Nanna and she means so much to me and I miss her more than anything. She was my best friend and was the only person that knew everything about my life and she still does, she never judge me and was there when i was in a bad place but understood me, no one understand me as she did. Hey if i could I would give up anything to have her back but i know that not going to happen. So she with me and when I need to talk to her I do, but when I'm in bad place i go to her grave and sit and talk to her. I feel her hugging me there. People have told me she not there so why go there, they just don't understand and have their own belief but this mine. With the next two months are hard in my family with dads anniversary and my nannas, these are the months when we lost them and i lost apart of me.

Cheers Deb

school work

One week down and another 12 to go that's cool. I really looking forward going to work and getting away from school work and study to much over the weekend and no fun. Well here my first assignment it on curriculum framework and we had to write 1000 word, easy on this subject yeah right. In the essay It all about this line, In what ways do the elements of the curriculum frameworks reflects current theories of teaching and learning? So if anyone has any idea HELP. I need and go and read the framework for our state in the next few days, which i will and get a copy of it. Well that's it for me and back to reading and going on to my uni site, shit do i have a very boring life at the moment. lol

Cheers Deb