Child abuse and adult abuse

A friend of mine was chatting to me about when we were young and how they knew someone that was abuse as child and it was a strange conversation as we haven't see each other for years. We were talking about their next door neighbour and mine and how they was scared of him and I said it over now they are dead. All week all I could think of was this very special person to us both and how would they be feeling about this. I remember they use to try and hurt themselves through high school and never let people get close because of the trust thing. I really didn't think my friend knew all this and I did about this person. They very close to me and I would know how they felt all the time and it was a very unnerve thing to think about what happen to our friend. There has been alot of sleepless night all week and I thought i had buried these feeling but they decide to come back up and as I haven't dealt with it very well and just shut myself down for few days....I start to read about how children survive as adult and if they can makes sense what happen to them. this is what I find Survivors are often out of touch with their feelings confused by emotion or reaction they cant explain or understand why. Always wonder how my friend knew because I know they were not told of this and we haven't see each other since we were 14 teen. Since that night i have avoid to talk them about it and anyone else..... I remember this guys wife die and I went to the funeral and i saw him and just frozen and i had so much hate for him, then he die I didn't go to his funeral and all I could think was it was over for my friend but really it will never be over for them. My sister want me to go but I made some excuse not to, but I have a feeling his daughter would be glad he was gone to and I suspect she was abuse from him to.... The memories of hearing what my friend went through is all I dream about no wonder i don't sleep anymore and I have just shut my feeling down to help me survive this stuff. Because all I know my friend lost her childhood to this and grew up way to quick and didn't know how to be a kid. The pain they went through and is still probably still going through every time someone brings up about the people in their life. You are always in my thought... My tears are falling now as i write this and think about it...........

Last word is if you have been abuse of any kind tell some one and dont go through it alone because you are not alone........

Cheers Deb